The New Art Critique
I feel inspired, ever since reading the story of a twelve-year-old boy who made a mark on the art world to share his views... literally. [Article 1] [Article 2] Some might view this as offensive to art in general. But those of us who actually have an idea of what art should really be find (in general) art upwards of $1 million to be an offense to human dignity anyway, so what could it hurt?
Indeed, I think this could be the start of a revolutionary new form of art critique. Applying internet methods to museums, we could start handing out packs of Wrigley's at the door. If you don't like a piece of art, you stick the gum on it and move on. At the end of the day, pieces completely covered are removed and fresh art brought in to replace it. After a certain amount of survival time, the art is then and only then promoted to a real gallery where it is lovingly restored from all of the sticky comments.
But not to fear: the high-art class will still remain. For those who simply have to leave their mark on the art world while simultaneously letting everyone else know how filthy rich they are, we'll create little pins that can be used to skewer the gum, each pin having a little flag that bears the name of the person who leaves it. You could make them in all kinds of precious metals: silver, gold, platinum, something for every pocketbook. Then you sell them (with customization) at about a dozen for the gross national product of Kenya.
But that's not all: you need to get this system entrenched. So we'll obviously have to get this on Oprah. Once it has the Winfrey seal of approval, no one would dare refute it, and it will be established as an American tradition. I think it would help improve the ailing standards of today, and put the power of veto back where it belongs, with the people.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a patent to file...
Indeed, I think this could be the start of a revolutionary new form of art critique. Applying internet methods to museums, we could start handing out packs of Wrigley's at the door. If you don't like a piece of art, you stick the gum on it and move on. At the end of the day, pieces completely covered are removed and fresh art brought in to replace it. After a certain amount of survival time, the art is then and only then promoted to a real gallery where it is lovingly restored from all of the sticky comments.
But not to fear: the high-art class will still remain. For those who simply have to leave their mark on the art world while simultaneously letting everyone else know how filthy rich they are, we'll create little pins that can be used to skewer the gum, each pin having a little flag that bears the name of the person who leaves it. You could make them in all kinds of precious metals: silver, gold, platinum, something for every pocketbook. Then you sell them (with customization) at about a dozen for the gross national product of Kenya.
But that's not all: you need to get this system entrenched. So we'll obviously have to get this on Oprah. Once it has the Winfrey seal of approval, no one would dare refute it, and it will be established as an American tradition. I think it would help improve the ailing standards of today, and put the power of veto back where it belongs, with the people.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a patent to file...
Labels: Cut the Crap, Sarcasm
posted by Quantum Kitsune at 8:38 PM
4 Comments:
I can see major commercial implications involved. I'm going to go buy stock in Wrigley's before a major cartel forms. Then at least I'll have the satisfaction of knowing I'm contributing to the art community....and if I happen to get rich at the same time, no biggie. Power to the patent!
It's certainly an idea I'd like to put into motion. Perhaps we can contact some art dealers and see what they think. We can perhaps make them shell out for the gum as well, after all, it's only cheap, and I'm cheaper.
Nicely done on the new Blog and all. The picture of the Bulb gives it a gorgeous simplistic power. Keep it up, and we may have to consider ruling the world at one point. ^_^
Well, I think that art is very important for society, even weird, "I don't get it" art, but I do see what you're talking about, though. A wise friend once told me, "Sometimes it takes a child to point out the Emperor's New Clothes."
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